Thursday, March 30, 2006

Very Upset

Yes, like just about everyone else I have been mathematically eliminated from my NCAA pool this year. I have actually heard of George Mason and I've even been to their arena, but who thought they would make it past the first half of the first game?? Certainly none of the so-called experts who told me that Kansas was a good pick. I work with a guy who went to Kansas - I told him they have a new slogan - "Rock, chalk, we suck" (Sorry- you have to be a big sports fan to get that one) I did OK in the first few rounds and I was in my usual place near the top of the standings - then things started to go wrong. Just ask Duke, Uconn, Memphis and Villanova- oh and also Gonzaga and Tennesee. It turns out that the probable winner of our pool this year is one of our long time players who picks teams by voo doo or weather or color charts. We're still waiting to see for sure. Once in a while one of the "Nut Jobs" will stumble into a few good picks but they are usually well out of it by Final Four time.

Even worse than being out of the pool is being without my TIVO. I know, you are asking, how can you possibly survive? Have you missed episodes of Oprah? Have you been trying to pause and fast-foward things in vain? If television is like a drug than TIVO is like Crack. It will change your habits and get you addicted- half hours seem like 25 minutes- hours seem more like fifty minutes. I have even had to watch a few commercials over the last few days- apparently Wendy's has a new Chicken sandwich that is VERY spicy. My TIVO got fried when I was doing some home improvement work and had to turn off a circuit breaker. I was putting in a new bathroom fan, just a project to spend some time before the games started last Saturday. Little did I know that this little chore would lead to me having to replace a major appliance and have to watch the basketball games totally live. Usually I can start the games late and zap the commercials and the five time outs and twelve foul shots in the last two minutes of a game.

So of course I needed to buy a new TIVO and I discovered a good deal on TIVO's own web site. (My new one has a much larger capacity too- I can save entire seasons of shows I'll never watch again!!) TIVO is for impatient people like me who want to watch what they want when they want it and not have to wait through any ads- people who want to watch one thing and record another. So how long does it take them to ship the damn thing out? Four to Six "business" days for delivery? You've got to be kidding me- Am I supposed to watch the Final four at regular person speed? TIVO you've got to know your customers better.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Perfect Storm

As most of you know I'm a very big NFL fan. But that is usually limited to my own team and when they don't do well, well its no fun. As much as I love football my favorite sports event of the year started today at 12:30. Of course its more than a sports event now, its more of a cultural phenomenon the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament - or March Madness - as they won't let you call it unless you pay them. Millions of people fill out office pools and try to guess the winner of every game. The second day of this years tournament happens to be tomorrow- Friday, March 17th St. Patricks Day. Now the first Friday of the tournament is always a big night out- nothing to do the next day but watch more games so the bars are packed and the mood is convivial. Adding St Patricks Day to this is a party (or a fight) waiting to happen. The Tournament is always about this time of year but I can't remember St. Patricks Day being so perfectly planned before. I predict a lot of losing pool players crying in their green beer. I also predict a lot of green vomit - but that's a little later.

For several years now I've been in a pool run by a guy I went to college with. Tom and his wife Denise get everyone they know from every school they ever attended and every job they ever had and then they get the relatives of those people to play too. They are VERY big basketball fans and their enthusiasm is infectious even showing through their e-mails. A bunch of us always went to the home basketball games back in college at American U. (Motto: Still not in the Tournament) Tom was generally a calm, fairly quiet guy but he was crazy at the games - we would try to sit behind the opponents bench and yell horrible stuff at the coaches and players (poor Lefty Drisell) I even remember a few times when players would acutually look up to see who was yelling at them. Playing the pool is one of the few times I am in touch with some old friends from AU. Its our once a year on-line reunion and fight for basketball supremacy. Some people are extremely serious about their picks and some use a system like "Which team has the prettier Uniform" or "Which school has the better Weather?" - Tom calls these the "nut job pickers" I'm kind of in between the two types. I'm part research and part guessing. One year I used what I called the "Weighted hat method" I know you want an explanation of that, but it was pretty complicated so forget it. The Hat beat many real people that year.

The tournament brings out many passions for and against different teams and coaches especially. Denise hates the slick loooking coaches with the perfect hair. She likes the short players and ones with good nicknames. Almost everyone hates Duke but half of them pick them to win every year anyway. Duke is like the Yankees of college basketball - you would like them to lose in the most painful way possible - unless it messes up your pool.

Betting on every game makes you care about Tennesee Vs Winthrop or Xavier Vs Gonzaga. You can see how people become degenerate gamblers with action like this - its very compelling and frustrating at the same time. You forget the teams you bet on that win by one point and remember the upset pick you had that almost pulled it off. Its a made for TV spectacle and CBS knows what they're doing. They bounce you back and forth to the good games - almost never pissing me off. Most of the games seem to go right down to the wire. Drama of the highest magnitude. The NBA pales in comparison. I've got to go check the scores now. Tom and Denise - don't forget to feed your kids this year.

Monday, March 13, 2006

E-Mail from WOW on vacation

If you thought my blog took the style "Stream of Unconsciousness" maybe this will explain where that sensibility comes from. My Mom's e-mails have always been very entertaining (WOW is MOM upside down and backwards if you haven't figured that out) She writes as if she's talking to you on the phone or scribbling a note for you on the kitchen counter. This has been compounded on her recent vacation by an unfamiliar keyboard with lots of new punctuation marks and a very limited smattering of Spanglish.


if this old equipment is my only problem than so be it----the blasted beloved dash is in the wrong place, a different place, a mexican place so i am always typing a`instead of a ---- but i´``
ll figure it out---
so far so good---travelling was fine--no bumps and when i realized that i didn´t have to go to customs in huston and not until leaon iwas thrilled but was a bit worried about them confiscating
my necessary granola supply----customs in mexico was a breeze----
the house is great---barbara would like more ammentities but i am happy--we each have our own bathrooms and there is even an other one!!!!!i have only a single bed and barb has a king but there are
cot like couches and sofas--4--big living room, kitchen and solarium----my room jhas heavy doos that open to a lovely vine covered balcony for veiwing not titting and barbs has a narrow balony---thire is a big roof but no nothing so we may buy some beach chairs
this key bo ard is fun--ooops-- we took a hair raising ride in the giant suv yesterday--yoiks--the winedy hills---
i want to walk more and check out the lay of the lan today---more later---oh i passed my time on my plane rides doing sudoko--i worked on only 2 pussles for the full 5 or so hours--yoiks---sat next to a man in a turban who reeked jof garlic--you know my nose, but he was very plesant and liked puzzles---he had a magazine called mental floss for brainics not novice puzzlers like me---love, mom'wow'jill

the mexican keyboard is different i still can`t figure out how to use the back slach, the --- is in a different place and i can´t use the ``at`` symbol---i may go to an internet cafe to write some more journal stuff and ask them----but i do have a ñññññ ÑÑÑÑÑÑ isn´`t that cute???


again i must say that things are going better than i expected---we even got to watch the academy awards---we went to a neat restaurant that has a sort of theartre upstairs, so it was an oscars party--yeah for´`crash`and wallace and gromit`---i had just seen the newirths dvd when they visited---i want my cheese gromit!!!!!

is there any national local or international new i should know about¿¿¿¿¿¿
and this is the upside down !!!!¿¿¿¿¿¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ it is not a iiiiii little I iiiii¡¡¡¡¡
aye aye aye
did you hear that the horn---carters are coming in april for an early seder¿¿¿¿ so happy---love, wow
and here is another thingÑÑÑÑÑññññññ but no back slach or ``at``
the àt`is on the q Q key but i don`t know how to access it---silly jilly
ps are you going to the dinner at your job for the book and cook¿¿¿remind terry about it---


If you know my Mom you can hear her voice in her e-mails. If you don't - she's really not crazy - I promise. Maybe just a little spelling impaired. Anyway WOW, good to hear from you.


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Notarized for your Protection

(Note- Sorry it's been so long since I wrote. I've been spending a lot of time watching curling on TV. I wish I was joking)

I have recently become an official Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Notary Public. Which is kind of a redundant thing to say because there are no "un-official" Notary Publics- that would defeat the purpose. And what is the purpose? Well, its kind of like being a lawyer except that you only need three hours of instruction, not three years. But you can do official stuff to documents like affidavits and affirmations and protests and oaths. In general the job is to make sure the people signing a particular document are who they claim to be. That's about it. You check the document, witness the signature, stamp it with your rubber stamp and then sign it. You may be wondering about the traditional symbol of the Notary Public - the embossing seal. Well actually by Pennsylvania law as of July 1, 2003 the seal is no longer required on any document. But some people still want a seal because they think it looks more official. Of course its fun too, so I had to get one.

Getting a Notary commission wasn't a longtime dream of mine and I don't think I'll make much money from it, it was simply a job requirement. In the past when they asked me to do something at work I'd take it under consideration, but I usually decided what they wanted me to do didn't interest me. I was happy to do this though. I guess its nice to be the Notary in the office- although its been like three weeks and I haven't had to stamp anything yet.

The whole"commissioning" process is quite complex and can cost about $300.00 - I guess that's what they do to keep everyone from doing it. The best way is to go through an organization like the Pennsylvania Association of Notaries (PAN). They run education seminars and help with all the paperwork. It is actually a very new requirement, but you need to take at least a three hour education seminar before you may even apply to become a Notary. There's no test- basically you just have to show up and stay awake but the staying awake part is probably optional. Of course you want to pay attention because you don't want to make any mistakes on an important document. That's what the "Bonding" and "Errors and omissions" insurance is about. After the seminar your send in your application and your proof of "education" to the state Senator from your district. They are supposed to review it, sign it and send it back to you. I didn't know how long this would take, but my Senator is Vince Fumo and he's all about "constituent service" so it literally took a few days - even through the mail. After that you send the completed application back to PAN and they forward it to the Commonwealth for more checking. Notaries can not have too much of a criminal record- of course lawyers have no such requirement. After quite a while you get your "Notice to Appointee" and a blank "Bond" form. You must send this form to PAN and they will "execute your bond". Being bonded protects your customers from your mistakes. Its basically insurance for your customers- you need to get other insurance to protect you in case someone makes a claim against your Bond. As with most things the whole process is just an excuse to sell more insurance (title insurance anyone??) After your bond has been completed you will take it and the "Notice of Appointment" to the recorder of deeds in your county to be sworn in. Still with me here? After you are sworn you must pay the recorder of deeds for the privilege of being sworn and them "recording" or writing down your commission. This costs $70.50. Yes $70.50- who knows what they do with that extra .50 cents. So I go up to the window- this whole process at City Hall is way too easy so far- and there are signs everywhere - "No Personal Checks Accepted" Of course no cards either. Now hold on a minute- I've just been confirmed and bonded by the state and sworn in by the county and become authorized to confirm peoples' identities, but they can't take my personal check? What do I have to do to get them to trust me? They actually have an ATM machine right outside the office there in City Hall so it wasn't that bad. So after you fork over the cash you've got to go to the "Prothonotary" to have your signature "recorded". No I had never heard of a Prothonotary before either. Its just another crazy government office working behind the scenes to protect our right to bureaucracy. You actually sign one of those electronic pads like when you check out at Target. Then you are done and official. Somehow the Prothonotary doesn't charge anything for "recording" your signature.

So I'm ready to go and waiting for my first "Notarial Act". Of course if any of my friends needs something Notarized - don't worry -it'll be just $5.00 per signature. If you're a family member make that $10.00