Traffic

You may have heard the story about two local brothers who were gored while running with the bulls in Pamplona. They were portrayed as slightly heroic, but I can't help but think they are slightly moronic. Who would go running with the bulls on Friday the 13th? How did they figure that was going to turn out well?

Being out in city traffic is harrowing enough these days without adding even more dangerous angry animals to the mix. Last week there was a cover story in the Philadelphia weekly about traffic from the perspective of car drivers, walkers and bicyclists. They left out scooters and motorcycles for some reason, but we also have different problems and complaints. I have a unique perspective on all of this because I drive a scooter, I walk, I bike and I sometimes drive around the city and I like to complain. I always notice that I am annoyed about what one group is doing when I am in the other group. When I ride my scooter I am shocked at how many chances bike riders take- they run red lights and go the wrong way down streets- some of the new messenger bikes don't even have brakes (I am not kidding). I notice this more on my scooter because a collision with a bicycle could be very serious for me- obviously for them too, but I'm more concerned about me because I'm actually signaling and stopping at lights. Its not like a bike hitting you when you're in a car and they bounce off your hood and you can get out all concerned and help them pick up their wheels and pedals from the street. A scooter v. bike accident could be very serious and I've been very lucky so far. Please wear helmets bike people- you are very vulnerable cause many of you take wild risks and many cars don't like you. I always hated it when I was riding a bike and a nervous driver would creep along behind me, deathly afraid of passing me and then sometimes honking- just speed up and get out of my way, dammit.

Get out of my way is probably the active phrase whether I am on foot, pedaling, driving or scooting. If I am walking I am annoyed at cars not letting me cross the street when I have a light because they have to turn. Why are they in such a hurry? They will probably get where they're going faster than me anyway- just calm down and let me walk. Also, please don't hit me on my scooter or on foot because you are talking on your cell phone while driving. Some people may be good enough drivers to talk on a phone and drive at the same time, but you're not one of them. Yes, I'm talking to you.

Of course when I'm actually driving a car (more on this soon) I hate when pedestrians walk across the street too slowly for my taste- or when they cross against the light and just wander out into the street as if no one could be coming. Of course I also hate cars and delivery vehicles double parked taking up one lane like they own the street. You are slowing down traffic people- don't sit there in your car waiting -streets are for driving-benches are for sitting. Oh, and when I'm on the highway anyone going slower than me is an idiot and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.