A week without Sandwiches?

Passover is this week. It is one of the most important holidays on the Jewish Calendar because it celebrates our deliverance from Egypt where we probably built the pyramids and invented mathematics. I have gone to the same Seder every year for as long as I can remember. Aunt Terry makes all of the food and leads the Seder too. The rest of us just listen to the running "commentary" of the "Elders" around the table. Uncle Bruce (not my uncle - but that's his name) always has a few fresh one-liners to interject.

Of course one of my favorite things in the Seder is when we get to eat a sandwich of Matzah and fresh horseradish (not kidding). It is called a "Hillel Sandwich" in honor of the sage scholar Hillel who invented it and also formed Jewish groups at many universities around the world. The Haggadah went as far as claiming that Hillel and not the Earl of Sandwich was the real inventor of the Sandwich. Maybe he's not properly credited with the invention because he used such poor bread. Everyone knows that bread is very important to a good sandwich. Of course Matzah is "unleavened" bread- "unleavened" meaing tasteless and dry. Matzah is jealous of Saltines because they are so tasty. During the eight days of Passover Matzah is the only bread that observant Jews eat. There are many restrictions during Passover (basically nothing that leavens or puffs up -or could puff up when you cook it) But not eating bread is easily the hardest. You just can't make a good corned beef sandwich on Matzah. People do the old stand-by PB & J, but its kind of like those weird orange crackers you get in the vending machines - only less tasty.

So of course you see where I'm going with this - the holiday that apparently helped to invent the Sandwich is also its greatest enemy. The ironies abound. How do you create something so great and then forbid it for the next eight days? And don't get me started on the no cheese and meat together thing - that does nothing for a sandwich either. How can I follow a religion that bans sandwiches for eight days? Ok, so I really don't follow it - I have "kept the Passover" before, but now I am too weak. I keep looking for loopholes - is pita bread OK? - that's kind of flat, how about a tortilla? Even a pancake isn't flat enough on Passover- and pigs in a blanket are definitely out.