English in South Philly?

I know you have all been waiting for me to comment on one of the biggest controversies to hit Philadelphia since the Stamp Act, especially since it concerns the unofficial theme of this blog.
The city is justly famous for its sandwiches and they have put us on the map again - but not in a good way. Of course I'm referring to the Geno's Steaks / Joey Vento / speak English or else controversy. First and most importantly - Geno's cheesesteaks aren't' very good- last time I had one will be the last time I have one - if you know what I mean. Kind of gristly meat - and not enough of it! I'm sure all this publicity has been good for business, but not much repeat business I'll bet.

The issue - which has been blown out of all proportion in the media all over the country - involves a sign that Vento put up in his store window proclaiming that this is America and when ordering you should speak English. This in south Philly where you can easily order a steak by saying: "One Whiz wit" and be totally understood. I only see one real English word there. Most of the time people down there don't talk much English to start with. If you're wondering many people down in south Philly really do sound like Rocky - "Yo Adriaaan, shut up while the igggles game is on - you know what I'm talkin' bout? Cook up some sozzich for me and Ant-ny when youre at it." This is a place where you can see bumper stickers that say - "You toucha my Car I breaka your face" and signs in stores that say "Shoplifters will be beaten with Baseball bats" and "Your tips are appreciated"

The "media" got involved with the story because it reinforced the stereotype of Philadelphia as being a working class, unsophisticated, backwater, unlike New York City where there is no racism or xenophobia and the sports fans are very well behaved. Of course Joey Vento didn't help his case by actually speaking to anyone who would ask. I actually first heard about the "controversy" on the sports radio station WIP. Now they look for controversy in anything- especially the morning guy Angelo Cataldi. Angelo is the type who asks every woman who comes on the show what size her breasts are and then comments about them incessantly. Now when he and his crew interviewed Vento at the beginning of all this even they thought he was a little "politically incorrect" He just kept digging himself a bigger hole. He explained that he didn't refuse service to anyone who didn't speak English, but he was really trying to be a humanitarian by letting them know that they should really learn to speak it because his grandparents didn't speak it and it held them back and he loves all the people but he really thinks if youre gonna live here you oughta speak like the rest of us. Instead of apologizing and letting it go he started to become some kind of advocate for right wing English only types. When they start talking about gay marriage and immigrants stealing our jobs and not speaking English you know the right wing is on the defensive (oh yeah don't forget about the Death Tax).
I really hope this whole thing calms down soon - for god sakes the local NPR station did a whole hour on it last week - complete with people from the ACLU. Its so crazy that the only voice of reason I've heard on the issue is - yes that's right- Mayor Street. He of the infamous "the brothers and sisters are running the city" quote and the FBI bugged office. He only commented that we have more important issues in this city and maybe city council doesn't have time to discuss sandwiches so much. Yes, they should leave that to me. If you want a really good cheesesteak go down to John's Roast Pork. Its really just a little shack kind of between the Target and Snyder plaza down near Delaware Avenue- don't let the name fool you - this is the real thing. If you want something different they've got an amazing meatloaf sandwich at the Royal Tavern on Passyunk (Pash-unk) Avenue (Aven-yeh), but I'm still waiting for them to bring back the brisket sandwich they used to make. Mangia!

The Critics Code

I went last weekend to see the "The DaVinci Code" or as we call it here in south Philly "Duh DuhVinci Code." Movie critics generally had a problem with the film and most gave it bad to medium reviews. Almost as if they were angry and wanted it to fail. Perhaps it was a backlash from the huge popularity of the book and its low literary standing. I'm sure book critics didn't rave about the book when it first came out- it's not a book for critics- it's actually one for people who want a genuine page-turner to read, not to pretend you read. I'm sure they discussed how they were going to trash it in their secret critic meetings before they had even seen it. It would have had to been a incredibly brilliant film to live up to its hype, but I don't think it was anywhere near as bad as several critics claimed. It's a two and a half hour film that didn't make me fall asleep on a Saturday afternoon. I say that's pretty good.

There were many things in the film that critics usually love. For one it was mostly set in France and had subtitles- mon dieu - this is usually enough for a great review from any American critic. It also had a good performance by an old school classy, gay, British actor - Ian McKellen- also another ingredient for smashing reviews. It also had a plot that you couldn't follow if you didn't already know it- critics love films that make no sense and leave you with a million questions at the end? They can feel smart and pretend they understood it (ie: 2001: A Space Odyssey.) I guess because so many people read the book they couldn't pretend they understood it more than we did. And the biggest thing - the film trashes the Catholic Church- everyone knows that critics, as journalists, are part of the big liberal left Hollywood machine that is out to destroy everything good about America like illegal wiretapping and pedophile priests. Somehow they didn't take the bait and anger the church by giving The DaVinci Code great reviews. Maybe Ron Howard should have added a few lovelorn gay cowboys- subtitled in French, of course.