With apologies to David Letterman...

Top Five Bourse Food Court Stores or Dog Breeds that sound Dirty but really aren't:

5. Labradoodle
4. Fresh Sushi
3. Tiajuana Taco
2. Cockapoo
1. Lix

Turning Thirty-seven is scary

I wish I could tell you what happened on my birthday the other night but I don’t remember. HA HA – I love that joke. Just kidding of course, we had a rollicking good time with an unusually large group. Plans are often fluid and changing – at least when some of my friends are involved ( and you know who you are). The plan was to meet at Jack’s Firehouse out on Fairmount and then go to the Haunted House at the Eastern State Penitentiary across the street. The time was supposed to be 7 pm, but that got pushed back a bit (see previous sentence). That really didn’t bother us too much because Pete and I had already been to a bar before Jacks' and we were into our second beer there when Jen and Todd showed up (Jen was right on time- she’d want me to mention that). Todd’s wife “L” and their friend Megan showed up a bit later – but that apparently was Todd’s fault.

We did make it over to the Haunted Prison about 8:30 or so. It was a cold, windy, rainy dark night and that gave the prison quite an ominous look and feel to it but it was also scary for other reasons:
1. We had to sign a legal waiver before entering
2. Lots of Under-employed actors acting as guards and goons
3. Much of the electrical work was not up to code.
4. Many low hanging pipes you could bump your head on
5. They were selling funnel cake

And of, course the scariest thing was that it was almost 9 pm and we hadn’t had dinner yet. We ended up going over to Rembrandts, another Prison area restaurant that has been there forever. My Dad and his wife Susan sometimes like to hang out there – at least they used to. We had a very nice meal that did not involve any sandwiches (Todd and Pete were very concerned that this would upset me- as I hadn’t had a sandwich for lunch either). But the food was quite nice and we all got what we ordered despite the fact that it seemed to be our waitresses’ first day. But she was forgetful in a charming way so it wasn’t bad. At the end of the night we had the traditional Birthday Tiramisu with a with a candle in it and we all shared desert. I want to thank all my friends for the great time I had on my birthday and and for not letting me pay for anything. I owe you even more than I already did.

Thirty-something

So it's my birthday tomorrow. Yes, I'll be thirty-seven years old (at least I think - lets see 2005 minus 1968 , carry the one, cross out the zero's - ok )
I really do forget how old I am sometimes- but I usually make myself older- if I'm going to be forgetfull I should at least do it to my advantage.
I guess I'm entering my late-thirties now with forty around the corner. Another year doesn't bother me too much - I generally don't feel or act that old. Some would say I don't act my age. I guess I'm showing some signs of "maturity." I don't tend to stay out late or drink too much anymore, but I'm not against it. And of course there's my very advanced hair line. I sometimes pretend not to like birthdays, but it's mostly an act. What could be so wrong with people taking you out to dinner and buying you gifts for no real reason but that you survived the past year.
Of course, the last year of my life hasn't been the most fun, but I've made it through and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that crap. Actually this birthday I can also celebrate having a good full time job again. I was officially hired as a regular employee after working almost two months at the Chemical Heritage Foundation. Good money and good benefits, my own office. I can't complain.

I have plans for lunch and dinner on my birthday tomorrow, thanks to my Mom and my great friends, but I'm free most of the week - if people want to take me to lunch or something I probably wouldn't turn it down. Really even just a beer. Oh and I'd really like that new Depeche Mode CD or the new Liz Phair.......


PS: Todd would want me to mention that October 25 is also St. Crispins' day - the occasion of a battle that only Todd has heard about. Something about the English and the French at Agincourt. I always thought Shakespeare made it up but apparently its real.

"...But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day."

Henry V Act 4, sc. 3

Tivo-envy??

No Tivo-envy is not the condition of wishing you could have Tivo but aren't wealthy or technologically savvy enough to get it. First of all, I made Tivo-envy up and I'm not sure that's what it should be called- it may not be not catchy enough. Actually I'm not even sure if someone else has thought up this concept- but if you have Tivo you will know what I mean. If you don't have Tivo you should get it (I don't watch commerials anymore - when someone asks me "did you see that commercial where......" I can say, no - I didn't. Are the Whassup guys still on the air? I do miss them.

OK so you're watching a show that Tivo has taped (Tivo'ed?) for you. Tivo automatically changes the channel to the correct one for your program. But you always see the last few seconds of the program on the previous channel as the channel slowly changes. Some times this few seconds looks really interesting and you wish that Tivo had stayed on that channel so you could see what happens next. Say Tivo changes in the middle of an action sequence climax or at the punchline of a joke - or - and this is the worst that could happen for the males out there- there is female nudity happening or about to happen and Tivo changes to record something you didn't even want! That is a nightmare. That's the kind of thing that keeps me up at night. I'm thinking of calling it Tivo-gret, as in you regret that you didn't get to see the show on the last channel. What if it changes just when Montel is going to confront the cheating transgendered stripper with diabetes? I suppose it's like that other phenomenon that happens with ESPN when you are watching it to see the score of a specific game. They have the scores crawling along the bottom of the screen and it seems to be going deadly slow. They are telling you who the pitchers were and who got a hit and what the manager had for dinner, but they aren't getting to your score. Then, when your score has to be next and even starts to pop up on the screen and they cut to commercial and stop the crawl dammit. And of course when they come back from commercial they don't pick up where they left off, they start again with NASCAR and golf results. They never do get to your score. I don't have a word for that either but I'll think of one. ESPNvy maybe?

Sub / Urban Saturday

I had a very unusual Saturday morning, one that allowed me to see my city from a different point of view. Todd called me Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go on a mural tour Saturday morning. If you don't know Philadelphia is the mural capital of the known world and there are over 2500 of them spread throughout the city in good neighborhoods and bad (mostly bad) Todd is crazy for the murals and has pictures of them on his alternate photo blog. http://www.alcibiadesphoto.blogspot.com

Anyway, he had an extra ticket because his wife Laura couldn't make it due to the fact that they now have a dog (which is not named Tippy) but which needs contsant attention. I can't substitute for Laura in most cases, I know I couldn't keep up with the Diet Coke consumption, but I thought I could keep Todd amused on a mural tour and lunch. Oh yeah - did I mention free lunch at the White Dog Cafe?

Of course, to go on a city mural tour you need to go out to the suburbs, so Todd and Laura picked me up at about 8:00 am to take me out to Radnor. It was only the start of one of their crazy marathon Saturdays which are apparently required in the suburbs. The tour was planned by "Mainline School Night" which is kind of like Temple Center City for the burbs. We went out to their headquarters in a great Victorian house in the midddle of a nice park. It was mostly a dog park, and since it was the first nice day in over a week the place was packed with pooches.

On the way out to Radnor we stopped in Wynnewood to have breakfast (free breakfast!) in a really cool spot I'd never been to before. Its a Pharmacy in a non-descript strip mall but when you walk inside its like being transformed back to the 1950's (I'm just guessing here - I've never been to the 1950's). There is a lunch counter up front with a bunch of stools and an ancient soda fountain and milk shake machine. The menus were dog eared and carried an ad on the front for the "Perfume and Cosmetic" department (Which I could see from my seat). There were also faded poster ads lining the wall for generic things like "Burgers" and "Fries". Some one could start a chain of those nostalgia restaurants with all the kitsch in here, but they are absolutely without pretense or irony - they must like the place the way it is- they haven't tried to make it look old - it just is. Food was good too, but it wouldn't matter.

When we get on the bus for the tour it is pretty obvious that Todd and I are about 20 years younger than most of the other people. I certainly didn't care - nothing like a big bus of nice main line ladies. I'm sure I've seen most of them at the Orchestra too. It did bring back memories of the infamous "Engelbert Humperdinck" incident of 1998 in Las Vegas, but that's a whole other blog. We made our way into the city by a way that Todd said was wrong. Todd was as upset as the rest of the 70 year olds at the route the driver took (and he was late too). We picked up our tour guide - a nice young man who is an art student at PAFA. Most of the murals we saw were in Mantua, which is a neighborhood in West Philadelphia next to Powelton Village and University City. Mantua is still one of the poorest areas in town and it was certainly surreal to be in a bus filled with older main line residents touring this mostly black neighborhood with many abandoned crumbling row houses and few stores. There are spots of amazing beauty, renewal and hope however - in large part due to the murals. The murals are usually next to a vacant lot where a wall is visible. Many of these lots are now park like- very well maintained with nice green lawns and even some benches. Kepping these lots clean is no easy task. They become dumping grounds for all manner of garbage -always a lot of car tires for some reason. The murals are usually done with neighborhood input, so many of the subjects are African American themed in this area. They cover subjects like heroes and Icons, reading, drugs, respect for elders. They are uniformly colorful -I guess murals always are- no need for much subtlety here.

We even got off the bus to look at a few of the murals - remarkably this didn't take too long. I felt a bit weird touring around and invading these neighborhoods like a bunch of sociologists making a study of the inhabitants- but nobody seemed to mind. I suppose they are used to people coming to check out the murals and it was too nice a Saturday morning to be annoyed at anything. The guide explained how some of the murals are created with "parachute" type cloth that is painted in a studio - sometimes by computer - and then pasted up to the wall in sections like a big puzzle. You certainly couldn't tell just by looking.

There are obviously many problems in these neighborhoods that murals won't solve- but having a true work of art instead of a grafiti filled wall and a nice green park instead of a garbage dump is at least a start.

We finished off the tour with a great lunch at the West Philly landmark the "White Dog Cafe" - one of the most pleasant and certainly the most politically aware places in the city. We had a great lunch and then Todd was off to catch a train to continue with his next big suburban saturday adventure. Like most of the other people on the tour I was headed home - I needed a nap.

Weak link in the chain stores

I have lived a few blocks away from South Street for about 12 years. Of course I've been hanging out there even longer - I remember when they almost built an I-95 off ramp there in the 70's. I remember Grendels' Lair and Paper Moon and when the TLA was a movie theater (Saturday Matinees were great). Unlike most people I didn't care when chain stores started to move in. They probably saved the street. Can you imagine South St. with out Tower Records now? I even like the Starbucks (there is one at 9th now too, but I like the one at 4th) It was one of my favorite hangs when I was more unemployed. I would rather have a good chain store or restaurant than another jewelry / sneaker / cell phone store. There are still plenty of one of a kind places down there that survive and thrive. Copa, Ishkibibles, South St. Souvlaki, tattoo and piercing places and used record stores - all of them do very well. I was very surprised the other day to see that one of the major chains was shutting its South St. store and I can't figure it out. Come on, McDonalds is closing? It's actually a really cool McDonald's with a huge jungle mural on the side wall - it actually even fits in down there. This is a big tourist area that attracts a lot of kids and other of these obese fast food addicts we're always hearing about. How bad a businessperson do you have to be to fail at running a McDonalds franchise here? You should be printing money. All those kids in the long white t-shirts down there with a few bucks to spend - where the hell else are they going? I liked having the McDonalds there - you will be shocked to find out that I went there every once in a while - good sandwiches. Also, I am horrified that the 'Subway' store across the street is still open. There should be no Subway stores in Philadelphia where official hoagies can be had on almost every block. Jared and his awful commercials can go to hell. I'm wondering what will go in McDonalds' spot - may be just another fast food place. I really wouldn't mind a Wendy's.