Cousin Maria

No she’s not my cousin. She’s not even my friend's cousin. She’s my friends wife’s cousin. Up until a few weeks ago I wasn’t even sure she truly existed. Now the legend has been made real.

Cousin Maria has been a topic of discussion among my crowd of friends for quite a while now. I felt like I’ve known her forever- she’s one of those people that your friends and co-workers talk about all the time but you never meet. Maybe they came to pick them up but stayed in the car, or they just left when you got there. Todd often invites me and our friend Pete to his family events and we’ve met most of his wife’s extended family- many times. There are Cousin Donna, Cousin Threesa (alleged sisters to Maria) sisters Cathy and Margaret and of course other assorted parents, aunts, uncles and kids. But never Cousin Maria.

We only heard about the glories of Cousin Maria and how she was the “leader” of the cousins. Maria always has something going on and is the center of whatever that is. If Maria wants there to be a party – there will be a party and it will be a good one (I’ve heard) Many family plans get co-ordinated through Maria. Todd mentioned her so much over the last five years but she was always conveniently absent when ever we were around. One time she sent her husband over to a party but she couldn't come. Hmm. Pete and I decided that Maria was just a figment of Todd’s imagination. Maria said this, Maria did this, Maria is down the shore, Maria lives down this street- sure Todd – anything you say. Other mutual friends had even claimed to have met her- we still thought it was a set up masterminded by Todd.

Finally a few weeks ago I had occasion to meet Cousin Maria (I'm not sure she has a last name - its always been Cousin Maria) Todd made a point of introducing me. I told her I was glad she really existed. She was glad too. She also told me that when Todd first started dating her cousin they didn't believe he existed. She never brought him around and they thought his name sounded fake.

Well now I know Cousin Maria is no fake. She is as charming and outgoing as I had been led to believe. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to hang out with her again sometime soon. Oh, and Pete needs to meet her too- he doesn't trust me.

Lazy, Hazy, Crazy

Yes! I am finally back from my late summer hiatus. I hope you have enjoyed the "Best Of" blogs that have been running in the last few weeks. You haven't seen them? Just check the archives- you can always re-visit your favorites from the last year. Remember the one about how Geno's doesn't have good sandwiches? Ah yes, another popular favorite was the one in the oval office when George the second was appointing "Judgalito"? I love that one.

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Anyway I have some late summer updates since I've been away:

First, of course, Tom Cruise had a baby with Katie Holmes. At least that's what they want us to think. Its possible that aliens brought the baby from outer space- maybe somewhere out there by planet Pluto. Wait, what's that you say? Well I still think its a planet too, but the whole deal did confuse the President:

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Interior- Oval Office - Day

Georgie: Hey Boltey can we get some one over at Disney on the phone?

Josh Bolten: (Invisible chief of staff) Sure Sir, did you want to get their CEO for your Arts advisory board?

Georgie: My what now? No, Boltey I want to find out about what happened with Mickey's dog.

Boltey: Mickey, Sir?

Georgie: Yeah you know Mickey Mouse- the one with the ears (puts his hands up by his ears)
You know the hat I have for cabinet meetings?

Boltey: Yes, but what about him sir?

Georgie: They went and killed off his dog- Plew-toe and I want to know why. You shouldn't go and kill off a mans dog like that.

Boltey: Oh, no Sir I think you're mistaken.

Georgie: No, I heard it all day yesterday- 'Plew-toe is no more' 'Goodbye to Pluto' and other such stuff.

Boltey: No, Sir they were talking about the Planet- the astronomers decided it wasn't really a planet.

Georgie: So the dog's OK?

Boltey: Its a cartoon, Sir.

Georgie: Is it still a dog or did they decide it wasn't a dog anymore?

Boltey: Yes, Sir and Goofy too.

Georgie: Goofy? Isn't he the new Federal Reserve guy?

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I must give a special shout out to one of my favorite shows "24" - they actually won an emmy for best drama series. I think they really deserve it - they may have their flaws, but they are consistenly better than most Hollywood films you see. I'm also glad for Kiefer "Jack" Sutherland, but I think the emmy should have gone to Hugh Laurie for "House"- or at least he should have been nominated. And again proving their good taste and fact that the emmy's really aren't a popularity contest- "American Idol" - still has no emmys!

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It's the end of the Summer and who is at the top of the Billboard album charts? That's right Bob Dylan. Wait, is it Summer 2006 or 1966? I can't wait for that next Beatles album.

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Summer is now officially over now that the NFL has started for real. The first weekend was a perfect one from an Eagles' fan perspective- Eagles win and Cowboys lose. Giants too.