Pete Vs. Chuck

By now you may have seen or heard about a new TV show this fall called "Chuck" It is one of the two new shows this season about a kind of geeky guy who works in a "big box" store and suddenly finds himeself in extraordinary circumstances. I've actually seen a preview of "Chuck" thanks to TIVO, and its a pretty good show, but the most interesting thing about it is that it may be about my friend Pete.

Pete called me about a month ago because he had seen a promo for "Chuck" and he noticed that title character works for the "Nerd Herd" at the local "Buy More" store as a computer guru. Also his last name is Bartowski. Pete is a bit more high level, he's a software consultant, but also a computer guru for his friends and family- and his last name is Bartkowski. Yes, just a one letter difference. Pete was sure that somehow his identity had been stolen for a major network program. I actually did some research (usually quite against my policy) and checked out the creators / writers of the series. Maybe they went to highschool or college with Pete or worked in a company with him- nothing seemed to add up.

After seeing the show I saw even more paralells. Both Pete and Chuck are both of above average height and they both have shorter sidekicks who have goatees! The only real big difference is that in the premeir Chuck gets mixed up in international espionage with both the CIA and the NSA. It's a big day for Pete if he can get up by noon to go out and get coffee. Of course Chuck is told to keep his spy vs. spy activity away from his friends and family. All this got me to thinking- what if Pete really is a secret agent? He works as a "consultant" and no one really understands what he does. He quite regularly has to go on trips to "Dallas" for work. Why would a computer guy have to go anywhere? Can't they send all their work over the net? He goes on vacation to places like Viet Nam- for a month! Of course if you asked him he would deny it or laugh it off, "Oh yeah, I'm a spy...." But that is exactly what you would expect him to say. I say if "Chuck" gets cancelled its because they're a little too close to the truth.

The "Green" Movement

Don't worry, this isn't a critique of environmentalists or a scarefest about global warming. I refer of course to the two different Green movements that were featured in Philadelphia yesterday. One was the "Green Festival" on South Street for the second year in a row. There were four blocks of booths pushing products, ideas and agendas. The hemp people were there, the recycling advocates and solar energy guys and of course the "back to the farm" people and dudes selling reggae hats and suspect veggie wraps. It felt like the parking lot outside a Grateful Dead concert (except no one was selling baloons full of Nitrous) Most of my family was wandering around too- it was in our neighborhood after all. We are generally into recycling and caring about the environment and stuff. I mostly do things that are also economical as well for the earth- things that are "economological" I've never owned a big, gas guzzling car- or any car for that matter. My scooter gets about 70 miles to the gallon. I even got a couple of those cloth tote bags to carry groceries- I was going to the Superfresh and I knew I couldn't walk through that crowd with horrible plastic bags. Plastic bags were good a few years ago, now you can only use them when you walk your dog.

Among the crowd were also a few representatives of the other Green movement- I speak of course of Philadelphia Eagles fans on the occasion of opening day of a new NFL season. Most of them were probably bewildered by the whole hippie dippy scene as they hurried into the supermarket to pick up some last minute chips and dip. I'm stereotyping of course, many people are members of both movements. But if I had to choose between the two Green movements I'd stop recycling immediately and buy a huge SUV and then sit down to watch some football. I was home in plenty of time to see the Eagles game, but now I almost wish I had stayed at the festival. As you have probably hear by now the Birds lost to Green Bay at Lambeau Field and the way they did it was excruciating. They probably should have won the game easily, but they kept making unforgivable mistakes- both coaches and players. Many fans sitting there watching things go wrong in a game often think: "What could I have done differently to change the outcome?" I know its a crazy idea, but we're a superstitious lot- if we weren't wearing the right jersey or sitting in the correct chair we think maybe we we're the cause of the TWO muffed punts (muffed punts, that's what they're called, sorry) It's called magical thinking- I'm sure I've mentioned it before in connection with football.

What struck me later in thinking about the two "Green" movements is how skewed most of our logic is about both of them. We think that our wardrobe or furniture choices can effect a football game- in another city, but we don't believe that doing a few small things for the earth can help at all. "I'm just one person, what can I do.....?" is something you hear all the time. If you change a few habits, take a few less trips in the car, recycle your plastic bags and eat more locally produced food you can make a difference. Just by setting a good example for others good ideas can be spread. It'll make you feel better to do something good for the world. And judging form the Eagles' first game- we're all going to need some cheering up.

National Payroll Week

Yes, it's National Payroll Week again- September 3 - 7. Sorry to tell you about it on the next to last day, but I just found out myself. I know, it doesn't leave much time for you to plan your office Payroll celebration and dress up as your favorite payroll professionals. Of course Payroll professional is just one of my jobs - my boss sent out an e-mail today telling everyone in the office to thank me for doing such a great job since (most) of them get paid accurately and on time (usually). The sarcasm is mine, my boss was more complimentary. Several people made a point of sending an e-mail or thanking me as I wandered around the office this afternoon- the rest of them may not get paid next week. Payroll actually can be interesting. Besides the obvious fun of knowing everyone's salary, there are also dependent care deductions, city wage taxes, 403b contributions, FICA and various STD's. Don't get excited, STD means "short term disabiliy" They can be from many things, from regular injuries to having a baby. Yes, under the FMLA (that's the Family and medical leave act you Philistines) having a baby is a short term disabilty for the father too. Don't mess with me on the FMLA- I learned about that one the hard way- although I wasn't injured.
Don't worry if you missed National Payroll week, I am also an Accounts Payable professional and a Notary public so you can thank me for that when it is appropriate. Oh and next year for National Payroll week I'd prefer if you just forget about thanking me and give me a small percentage of your salary.