Pushing Forty

Yes, that's how one of my supposed friends put it when the subject of my birthday came up a few weeks ago. I don't like to think of it that way- I prefer to say I am entering my late thirties. My birthday was last week - October 25 for future reference for those of you who forgot. And you know who you are. A few of my good friends were out of town so they can be forgiven. In fact I find the best birthday strategy is stretching it out as long as you can. If you have a party that'll probably be it - but if you're clever you can have three or four dinners and lunches in the week surrounding your birthday. People are nice to you all week- like its your own private Holiday season. (One of my birthday dinners was covered in Todd's Blog - www.alcibiades.blogspot.com) I was also treated to a great Paul Simon concert with my Aunt Terry and cousin Emily. He sounds great and he's pushing 70. Dad and Susan took me, Alex and Missy out to a great Cuban restaurant on my actual birthday. Mom was good for a dinner before she left on her cruise. She says she still owes me a gift too- and who am I to say no.

My brother Alex has a big birthday coming up - thats right four-oh. Or leaving his extreme late thirties as he might want me to put it. Turning Forty probably won't bother Alex too much - he's already lost most of his hair so that's not something he's worried about. There will be a party for him, but I think he is also milking this one appropriately. He has already been at two of MY three birthday dinners (so far). I don't know if I'll be able to get the gift he probably really wants - Sorry, I just don't think the Flyers are going to win the Cup this year. And of course the Super Bowl is probably out of the question too. Maybe I'll get him something with a Trout on it as usual.

So don't forget Alex's birthday November 10th. If you already forgot mine, don't worry I am probably free for lunch or dinner this week. Maybe you could treat me to a nice sandwich.
I will also accept beer and cash.

Bad Ads

I was very excited a few weeks ago to see an article about a local radio station that was actually helping its advertisers to get the most for their ad budgets. They asked the listeners to take a web survey on which ads on the station they actually liked and why. I love this idea, because I generally hate advertising (thus TIVO and NPR are two of my favorite things). Nothing is worse than hearing the same ads again and again and again- yes this mostly happens on the radio. There are some ads that actually make me change the station- and vow never to use the product hawked. This is bad for the station and the advertiser- so bad advertising hurts everybody.

I remember one particular ad that was a dial turner- I think it was for a company selling awnings for your backyard. It was one of those spots where they pretended that people were having a conversation about their product and explaining it to us. One of the people kept interrupting the other by whining "Tell them about the discount, Harry" or some other name - depending on which version it was. Yes, an annoying ad with several variations- thinking we wanted to have someone whine at us. Also they always advertised the discount, so why run out and buy it if there was always a discount.

There's another ad that's getting into the same category just because its been running for soooo long. Its even for a company (Accountemps) I actualy worked for- they helped me get my current job. Still they have been running the same series of ads for at least a year and a half. They generally feature a super-temp named "Bob" who can walk in and save a company and even get other people in trouble because he outshines them. If I was in charge of hiring people I wouldn't want this guy show me up. Please, I don't care how well these ads are working - do something else, like yesterday.

GEICO has been running a bunch of ads over the last few years and generally they are doing very well. They have the cockney lizard who I guess is supposed to appeal to the ironic hipsters- talking about pie and chips and other Britishisms. I don't need new car insurance and I don't care how witty their lizard is. They also have (sometimes) funny ads where "stars" help real people tell their stories (I'm not even sure this is the same company) In either case why do I care if my Insurance company is cool, hip and funny- I just want the best price and service. These things aren't really talked about.

Probably my most hated ads as a category are for "Lite" beer. I'm probably a bigger beer snob than I am a sandwich snob, so I am quite annoyed when I see these ads where people go to great lengths to get their favorite lite beer. They usually are stealing it too - from their roommate or neighbor- what kind of message is this. Drink bad beer and commit petty theft? These ads generally don't say anything about how the beer tastes- not even versus other lite beers. They are just creating a "brand" identity. Why would I choose a beer based on a funny commercial and not taste?

Do these bad ads stay on the air because they work- or because they work well enough? A good ad can become iconic and a cultural milepost. Who knows how many more cars would be sold by certain dealerships if they did something other than YELL at us.

Advertisers - stop being so lazy and come up with something good that doesn't insult most of us. Oh, and I have plenty of room on my blog for banner and animated pop-up ads, just drop me an e-mail.

Schadenfreude

I wanted the title of this entry to sound smart because what I'm really going to write about is Sports. Of course "Schadenfreude" is a German word meaning "taking pleasure in the misfortune of others" As a Philadelphia sports fan I am very well versed on the subject. Our teams have a legendary history of letting us down so we are often left watching as other cities move on to the playoffs year after year. It is then we have to pick our teams to root against. Maybe it was the team that knocked our team out of the race- or a team with an athlete we really hate. Rooting against Kobe Bryant and Scott Rolen has always been easy for us here in Philadelphia. This year's baseball playoffs give me many opportunities. Not only do we have the Mets- who beat up on the whole league and won the division by 75 games, but the other New York team the dreaded Yankees. Now, I always root against the Yankees, one because they are Evil, and two- do you need a two? Actually this year it was more fun to root against them because they had one of the Phillies cast off underachievers on their team. When Bobby Abreu was traded to the Yankees people thought the Phillies had given up - the general manager even said that could be the case. The trade turned out to be great for both sides - the Phillies went on a tear and nearly made the playoffs (big surprise to everyone that they just missed) and Abreu helped the Yankees win their division by even more than they would have without him. He also seemed to make them a lock for the World Series. But not so fast there pal - the Yankees ran into a problem this year on their way to the Series- they kept losing. Yes, my new favorite team the scrappy Detroit Tigers beat them 3 games to 1 and knocked them out in the first round. The Tigers were extremely happy to win and beat the Yanks too - they had a huge clubhouse celebration like they had just won the World Series - and the World Cup- and the Stanley Cup. A bunch of players even ran back on to the field to high five the fans and spray champagne on them. Their celebration was so amazing that I went out the next day and bought a Tigers hat- to show I'm now a fan of a team that cares about their fans and has some enthusiasm for the game. But mostly because they beat the Yankees.

The football team I save my venom for is - well - I've heard it put this way - "I root for the Eagles and who ever is playing the Cowboys" So this weekend was extra special because both were the case. The 'boys and their hated wide receiver "OD" came into town and the Eagles sent them away with a loss - it only took an epic struggle with the outcome in doubt until the literal last minute. Thinking about the game during the week I realized that it's not the Cowboys themselves I hate - or their fans in Dallas really. They're passionate for their team just like we are. I hate the people here in Philadelphia who root for the Cowboys - they have no connection to Texas, no emotional bond with the team - its a fake fandom- and boy are they obnoxious. Almost everybody knows a guy like that at work - he tries to be contrary by rooting for the enemy. Thats who we hate- those traitors among us. We love that they are in pain this week, wondering what went wrong. We've been there.

What I had for Lunch

So I was browsing through a large coffeehouse/bookstore the other day and - right past a book by Jared the "Subway" guy- I saw a book called "No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog" by somebody named Margaret Mason. Now, Ms. Mason's book was filled with pithy ideas about what she thinks you should write about- things such as "Conduct Unecessary Experiments", "Eavesdrop on people in public" , "Take an unusual stand on an Issue" or "Give some insider knowledge about your hometown." Now I'm sure all this could be fine, and if you haven't already thought of most of these gems you should turn in your keyboard. But my main problem is I don't like her telling me that the main subject of my blog is boring. What I had for lunch can be very interesting- especially if it was a sandwich. Now if you had a salad or a container of yogurt I don't really care, but a sandwich, at least a good one is worth a thousand words. What kind of bread was it? Was there meat? Cheese? Vegetables and condiments? Did you have anything on the side? There are hundreds of things to write about.

I think she should have named her book "No One Cares what your Cat/Dog/Kid did today...."
Actually, I think I've written about all those things - and they weren't even my pets or kids. Maybe that makes it more interesting, hmm. Anyway, today for lunch I had a nice salmon filet with a soy glaze and rice pilaf with wheat berries, plus some very nice Pomegranite Soda and a slice of Apple Torte for dessert. My favorite part of the meal was that it was free.